Year 5 Without You

5 long hard years without you, yet 5 short happy years without you!  Its a very strange thing.  Sometimes i feel like i can hardly remember a time when you were here and others i still don’t imagine my life without you in it.  You will always be in my life, not only do i have two of your beautiful children to remind me of you (and they frequently do), but for a short time i was happier than i had ever been and felt like the most special person in the world.  You had the knack of making me feel so special, like i was the starring actress in a romance film.  Cheesey i know, but something that secretly every girl wants.  You really were my prince charming and i miss you so much!

So in this last year your son has grown up so much.  He is now a back chatting, bossy, non stop chatty little man.  He wakes up grumpy, just like you.  He cant help but admire himself in a mirror, just like you and he has started dancing, unfortunately…..just like you.  He loves anything army or plane related, because of you.  He frequently tells me how much he loves his Daddy and how sad he is that he wasn’t born, as he just wanted to meet you.  He cried a lot on arriving home, after a  trip back from Uncle Murrays, as he fell asleep and missed the “Army” where you used to work.  He has been asking a lot to go to your hill and even asked if you would come back if we took something to your bench.  We always leave you flowers or chocolate , yet they are never there when we go back.  Charlie thinks this is because you come down and get it.  He told me one day that you were in the sun shining down on us and he knows you watch over us and love us back.  You would be so proud, he is desperate to go in a rocket, right up your street.  He is a proper little chip off the old block and all that without ever having met you.  He handles me well, just like you did and if he continues, women will not be in short supply when he gets older.  He too will be entering nightclubs with a woman under each arm!

Our little Picalilly (Isla) is a right little diva.  I can’t believe where the last year has gone. Isla is definitely independent, knows what she wants and frankly is not happy if she can’t get it and lets every body know.  She has quite the temper and people frequently comment on not knowing where she gets that from… hmmmm, lets just say not so much like you!  Charlie adores his little sister and mostly takes good care of her.  She thinks he is very funny and today i was reminded of how gorgeous they both are and how lucky i am, when i came down stairs to the sound of proper belly laughing giggles from Isla who was being tickled by charlie.  She is so loud.  Charlie spent several month roaring at her, now she roars at the top of her voice everywhere and anywhere.  She frequently hits her head on the floor in tantrum, tries to escape from the bath, the front door, back door and even dog flap.  She definitely keeps me on my toes, blink and she’s gone.  Isla has been walking since 9 1/2 months and loves her shoes.  Shoes mean she is going outside and that makes her happy.  She even went and got her coat for me today, despite the fact we weren’t going out.  Every time i turn around she is stood on a table or chair and just managed to get caught at nursery the other day before hitting the floor as she fell backwards from standing on the slide.  All her dangerous escapades aside, she (touch wood) is still far less accident prone than our little Mr Bump!

Miss you!

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