Year Two Without You.

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So today you have been gone for two years.  I cannot believe I have not seen or spoken to you for that long, its very surreal.  Sometimes I feel like you have been gone ages and sometimes it still feels like you are in my life every day.  I still don’t go a day without thinking of you in some shape or form, especially now our cheeky little chappy Charlie has developed such a strong personality of his own.  I was just discussing today how he has developed your sleep tendencies, meaning he doesn’t!!  He is so determined, strong willed and frustrated, can’t work out if he is more like me or you in that respect, truthfully, he’s stuffed, must be as stubborn at the both of us!

We have had a pretty rocky last year without you, mostly due to the fact that Charlie has been in hospital five times in five months, far too many similarities to you with a lot of his problems.  Struggling to breathe, constipation, reflux, the list could probably go on!  Still, he is such an outdoor baby, constantly trying to escape to the garden and run after the dogs, he gets excited when he sees we are about to go backpacking through the fields and he loved Solsbury Hill today, just like his Dad.  He has quite the little character and a harem of female friends to play with, you would be proud!

You know when things are changing and time is passing when I spend more time on here writing about Charlie and less about life without you, guess life does go on anyhow, but still wish you were here with us and always will.  You probably would have kicked me out several times over by now, having been driven mad with my moods and lack of patience with Charlie!

We continue to do pretty well on the fundraising stakes for the hospice, we have had several published articles since The Times did their follow up, you would be happy with your fame, this has meant we hit and continue to exceed your £5000 target.  I am about to do a 10 mile midnight walk in your honour, on behalf of the hospice, so anyone reading this, please follow the link on this blog to the hospice just giving site and spur me on, sleep is precious these days!  The deciding factor for signing up was remembering how much you suffered with lack of sleep, all those long torturous winter nights of being wide awake, blogging and planning our wedding.  What is one more night without sleep for me, when you don’t get to make that complaint anymore?  You will be pleased to hear the Ginger Scot is joining me (Murray), as well as your old colonel’s wife too, very kind of her.

I still see that seagull out in our garden and on our dog’s walks and continue to hope it is you watching over us.  I hope you miss us as much as we do you!

Until next year……..

A word of advice for anyone who has lost/is losing someone, day by day, keep planning ahead, the world continues whether you like it or not, so make sure you are an active part of it and continue to live your life, you are still here!

4 responses to “Year Two Without You.

  1. Hi Kady
    I’m an army wife currently living in Bulford, I regularly walk my spaniel up near kiwi and came across a tree which had been planted in memory of your late husband. Curiosity took me to your husband’s blog as there was a link engraved on the plack and I spent an hour yesterday afternoon in the glorious sunshine ontop of the hill reading his story with tears in my eyes. I dont know uhusband but you’re story really touched me what you have achieved since he left u is inspirational and im sure he will be looking down on u one very proud man! I see the anniversary of his passing is coming up soon and will be thinking of u both and your special little boy on the day! Best wishes Clare x

    • Hi Clare, thank you so much for your comment. It means a lot. I am so pleased the tree is being noticed and the plaque made you have a look at the blog. I’ve not managed to get down there since we put the stone in place, but am hoping to do so in the next couple of weeks. I used to love walking my dogs up kiwi hill and I used to drive Mike up there when he was no longer able to walk it. Thanks again for your comment. Kady.

  2. I am sorry, I did not realize…Lynn

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